Mythmaking and Storytelling. Oh, and Lying.

It's always seemed an understood thing that my children will be lovers of story. Hello, I was an English major. Hello, their father is a philosopher. Hello, both parents will be teachers. Therefore...

We hope to cultivate a love for literature and learning and truth and beauty early on, like any good Hillsdale alums would do. Naturally. I hope my children will believe in fairies for as long as they possibly can (long past they're children...), and that they will understand that there can be a deeper truth found in a good poem by Keats or Shakespeare or Robert Frost than even in a math or chemistry textbook.

And yet... there's a balance. As in all things, order is the first need of all. Boundaries are important, always.

I'm experiencing this with the eight-year old that I nanny. She's a storyteller. A good one. (Though her maturity level isn't what I wish it was, she being the youngest and rather spoiled... which makes her stories often a bit trite.) And her sense of humor is amazing. And she's pretty smart. In second grade, she tested at a fifth grade level in most of her subjects.

But her storytelling often goes too far. I've tried to explain to her the difference between storytelling, exaggerating, and lying. No dice. She shuts down.

For instance, just today I learned that the reason most humans get hungry and need three meals a day is because 89 percent of what they eat gets stuck in their teeth and never makes it to their stomach. After I explained to J. just how much 89 percent of anything is, she just stood there. "Oh."

Also, apparently there is a 17 percent risk that I will die in childbirth. She's really into percentages lately.

When she learned that my baby might not be born exactly on its due date, but perhaps later, she informed me that the baby which arrived the longest period of time after its due date was born ten years late. She then attempted to comfort me for my probable multiple-year pregnancy.

Try convincing her that one of her random facts isn't actually true, and you're simply in for a Very Long Debate. This girl is stubborn. And while all these are rather silly and harmless (and hysterical), she doesn't stop at random facts. She invents fabrications constantly. For instance: "J., I found another candy wrapper in your room. Remember, you aren't allowed to eat there. Also, please remember to throw your wrappers away."

"That wasn't mine."
"J., it was in your room."
"It must have been K's wrapper."
"K. doesn't eat candy. She doesn't like candy."
"Well, then it was my friend. She was here this weekend, and I told her not to eat in my room, but she did anyway, and then I saw her hide the wrapper."

Her parents have instituted a new policy: don't let her speak. If she starts to make stuff up, simply cut her off. Tell her you know what happened, you don't want to hear it, and instruct her to act according to your wishes.

It's sad that this is necessary. I try to encourage her to write little stories, and sometimes she does. She has quite the way with words -- if she could only channel it. But for J., the distinction between storytelling and fibbing is nearly nonexistent, and her fibbing occurs far more often than does her storytelling.

So how does one encourage love of story and storytelling in a child, while still maintaining an adherence to the truth of things? How does a child understand the difference between truth and reality? Fairies may not exist, but that doesn't make them any less true. Do children still know that?