Back to School

It's getting to be that time of year again.

Eric begins class next week. The girls go back to school in a week and a half.

I miss being in school. I miss classes, organizing notes, discussions at lunch, drinking coffee at all hours, staying up too late -- I even miss being tired all the time. Oh wait. I guess that's coming back in just a few months. Scratch that last one.

I took the girls back-to-school shopping this week, and helped them organize their binders and pencil cases and pack their backpacks. It got me thinking, as it always does, about how much I want to teach. How disappointing it was to learn that California is probably one of the only states in the country in which it is next to impossible for a liberally-educated but credential-less teacher to find a position. Teaching has been my goal since I was in high school, and a college education plus one year later, it doesn't seem any closer to my reality.

I was feeling a bit bummed about this when K., who is starting seventh grade, told me that she's not sure if her science teacher will be back -- at least for the first few months. Miss J.'s wedding was scheduled for August. In mid-July, her fiance was killed in a car accident.

That set me back a bit. Suddenly all self-pity flew out the window.

It especially resonated, since I was in a car accident the day before our wedding just over a year ago. Granted, it was my fault (embarrassing), but nonetheless.

I would rather be here, stuck in a city which I actively dislike most days of the week; would rather be working two jobs, both of which I could have had in high school than to be heartbroken and alone with the best teaching job in the world. It's easy, really. I ignored the job offers I had, married the man I love, and have never regretted it for a second.

I am so blessed, to be sitting here on our bed in our hot little apartment (it was over 100 today, and we don't have air conditioning -- except for a wheezing little window unit in our bedroom that's on its last legs), listening to Eric read sarcastic excerpts from Bobos in Paradise, feeling Tiny practice whatever martial art is going on in my abdomen tonight.

I am so blessed to live with so much love.