Please Hold, We are Experiencing Some Slight Technological Difficulties

So last week I promised another big change. Which, you may have noticed, has yet to actually happen. One of my friends texted me yesterday, "I've been waiting for a week!!" which is bad, because now when I do actually set it up, it's going to seem incredibly anticlimatic, and you're all going to think, this? this is it? 

So then we went back to texting each other about a mutual acquaintance's pathetic obsession with her own hair and how we wished she would just cut it all off and stop whining.

The reason for the delay in my project is simple: technology.

Or me. It's not technology, it's me.

My camera memory card is full (again), and in order to finish this project, I need to take approximately 400 photos (not quite). And I'm techno-stupid, so since I don't know how to use the external hard drive, I can't put all the photos from our computer memory card on there, then wipe the memory card so I can take more photos. Actually, I probably could figure it out, especially since Eric has shown me how to do it, but I'm scared of electronic things and technological things,* so I'm going to delay until he does it himself and sighs and rolls his eyes at me.

Which is basically what happened earlier this week when I told Eric that I needed to print some things for work, so our new printer should probably be set up (notice how subtle and passive that was? Eric did, too), and especially since it didn't make any sense for us to have our old printer still set up anyway, when it hadn't had any ink in it for seven months. 

So, Eric being the incredible husband he is, he set up the new printer while I was at work, then that afternoon, before he went to work, gave me specific instructions on how to make my computer talk to the printer. These instructions included things like, "The printer is wireless, so MAGIC AND THEY TALK WITH WI-FI MAGICAL TECHNOLOGY CONNECTION MAGIC. Oh, and here is the cd with smart magic information things on it to download BUT USE INTERNET SEARCH FOR SMART THINGS AND COMPUTER PRINTER CONNECTION TALKY TALK MAGIC." 

Which is basically all I ever hear when anybody tries to explain anything involving technology to me. A few disjointed words that make sense, like "computer" and "printer" and "wi-fi," and absolutely no connection to how these things actually work, or how I can make them work, because all the instructions actually sound to me like "THIS IS MAGIC."

Which is basically what technology is, when you think about it.

Magic.

Okay, magic science.

So when Eric came home later that day and was all, "oh, did you print what you needed," I was all, "no because I was formatting all the things properly because I'm OCD," which was really code for "I don't know MAGIC," and he was all, "okay I guess that's fine," when really I was hoping he would say something like, "well, darling wife, allow me to do it for you because it's confusing MAGIC which I know how to do since I'm a man."

So later that night, when it became clear that Eric hadn't read my mind and hadn't set up the printer-computer connection for me, I went over and spent ten minutes trying to plug the usb cord (is that right? is it a usb cord?) into the printer but I couldn't find the hole. And Eric is sitting over there saying helpful things like, "you don't need to use the cord because it's wireless." And I finally got the cord in the stupid printer and my computer at the same time and magic! it downloaded the information and my computer told me that it could print things. 

So I tried to print the first document and it didn't work.

At which point I started yelling at Eric, saying things like "IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK BECAUSE I EVEN USED THE CORD" and "THIS IS WHY I'M MARRIED," and "WHAT ELSE IS A HUSBAND FOR?" and he pointed out that he had taken time out of his day to set up the printer for me, and he couldn't have set up the printer-computer connection because I had the computer with me at work, and then I felt really guilty and apologized, and then he said something about how he had already given me instructions and I should know how this worked, and then he tried to print the document exactly the way that I had just failed at it, and it worked for him. 

Naturally.

And he was all, "oh, you just needed to push 'print' again."

Which means that I had actually set up the printer-computer connection properly, even though I used a cord even though it's wireless. Which means --

I know magic.

So this, in a nutshell, is why I haven't finished the changes to my blog. My camera's full which for me equals "broken until Eric gets fed up with my whining and fixes it."

Which is really why I wrote this blog today, so that he would see it and finish the job for me without me actually having to ask him.

aaaaaah, marriage. The union of two minds.

(aka compromise)

* which is rather concerning, considering that my new job involves tutoring a student who goes to school on her computer.**

** But really, the reason you should be concerned is, hello, I've filled our camera's 16g memory card twice since Emma was born. I don't actually know what 16g means, even though I should, since Eric's explained it to me before. But I know that it means BIG. Which equals thousands of photos, mostly of Emma. Which also means at least 400 photos of our baby learning how to eat solid food and getting cherries or peas or berries smeared all over her face.*** And now you think that I'm exaggerating, and that this is all a funny joke. Well, joke's on you. 

***Which means that all of you out there who added unbaby.me to your facebook should be thanking me for not sharing all those photos with the world. Even though they're awesome and adorable and you would actually like them.